Derek Dooley: Football coach-slash-comedian

I am not by any means a Tennessee Volunteer fan.  In fact, I take great pleasure in irritating their fans, largely because their fans irritate me.  And in recent years, it’s been much like shooting fish in a barrel.

But this new football coach of theirs…dad gum it, he’s so funny that I’m actually starting to like him.

A friend of mine compiled a list of Derek Dooley quotes following the Vols’ 32-29 double-overtime win over C-USA powerhouse UAB.  UT won despite being outgained 544-287.

Read and enjoy.

Dooley on special teams: “We actually got a positive punt return. I think we’re out of the negative in punt return. That’s a good sign.”

Dooley on Vols’ WR drops: “It doesn’t take confidence to just catch a ball right here (in the hands). Just catch it.”

Dooley on Vols’ D going into next week: “We probably should not practice plays, and just tackle.”

Dooley on Vols’ toughness: “I’m sitting there wondering why they’re not fazed. Every human in the stadium knows you’re getting annihilated.”

Dooley said Vols OC Jim Chaney made great call on game-winning TD because “he didn’t want to call any more plays.”

Dooley: “We had a lot of luck. Their kicker really helped us. How many did he miss?” (UAB went 2-7 on FG attempts)

Dooley: “I appreciate the fans staying. There was a point where I was shocked anybody was in the stadium, with the way we were playing.”

Dooley: “Johnny Majors told me I needed to put in quick kick. And he’s right. We may work on that this week on third down.”

Dooley said this was his 2nd OT game. “I lost the first one, because I went for 2 — like an idiot.”

Dooley: “It looked like 2 equal teams out there. Actually, it really didn’t. It looked like 1 superior team. It’s where we are right now.”

Dooley: “I felt like they had 158 plays to our 28 and held the ball for 52 minutes to our 8.”

Dooley: “They outplayed us at every position. We really didn’t do anything well. I don’t know what else to say. We’ve got a lot of issues.”

Dooley, at his most frustrating moment, thought about telling the Vols, “Do something that resembles anything.”